Web sites that make me think "Don't" #1 (Steve Kruger re-arranged)

How often do you get deflected from an online search by 'death sentences'--a triumph of bad style over potentially good content. I use the worst of the worst to keep my disgust fresh--thanks to Don Watson for this term and his marvelous book Death Sentence: The decay of public language. Bye the way, if you know the origin of that saying--keep my disgust fresh--please tell me.

For this exercise, I will choose badly written web sites that have a lot of people and resources behind them, and also expect their web sites to be read and elicit a response. I will point out what many well experienced authors have done before me, which is to show how good English usage and good writing for the web will work, when sloppy and bureaucratic language will turn people away. Home page and first writing on the page:

"Welcome to the website of the Environmental Protection Authority of Western Australia.

The EPA was established by Parliament as an independent Authority with the broad objective of protecting the State's environment.

This is undertaken through the process of providing overarching environmental advice to the Minister for the Environment through the preparation of environmental protection policies and the assessment of development proposals and management plans, as well as providing public statements about matters of environmental importance."

More is on http://www.epa.wa.gov.au/

• "Welcome to the website..."? I know where I am, and that I do not feel welcome
• I really do not want to know how the EPA was established, but I DO want to know what information and other resources I can get from this large and important Department.
• That second paragraph could grace the pages of Death Sentence, On Writing Well and any other author's book that shows us salutary examples of bad writing. "overarching environmental advice" is probably important, as are the other activities of the Department, although it is hard to see how those activities lead to the "broad objective of protecting the State's environment."
• So who was the audience for this site? Well, I know that some people need to get, read and comply with Government policy, and they can to some extent do that from this site. But, the overwhelming impression is that this is a 'brochure-ware' site--a convenient way of dumping a lot of publications and other text.

I guess you know that usability testing for web sites is a recommended process, so it was with some joy that I found an Interim Industry Consultation Guide to Community Consultation on the site, unfortunately dated December 2003, and it is in its own right worth a read--that is, if you are an editor and want to ply your trade.